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U2 is the Best Band Ever

Prove me wrong.

***Prove*** me wrong!

Anyone who knows me knows what a huge U2 fan that I am. I’ve been a fan since 1988. I ran the largest trading U2 live MP3 site in the world for over four years. It’s dead for now, due to potential troublemaking by U2’s label (although U2 had no problem with me running my site). But I don’t want headaches. It’s not worth it. Well, it is, but not to my family…

Anyway…when U2’s latest album, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb (their best album, and the best album of all time, IMO), came out, there were a LOT of debates about it on the most popular U2 forum — at People were complaining, as usual, the way they usually do, just for the sake of complaining — as they’ve been doing after every release.

In response, I wrote what many people thought was one of the best posts they’ve ever read on that site. I wrote it in the spur of a moment (took about 15 minutes), but as I was writing it, I had a feeling it would get the response it did. I never wrote so much before in a post (nor since), but I was inspired. It’s not like me, so I’m not really bragging (yes I am). You may hate it. I don’t care. But if you’re interested, here it is. It appears that the original post on the forum is now dead 🙁

The only reason I’m also posting the full text here, is to save it permanently, in case that site ever dies (well, the link for that post is now dead):

I’m disappointed in Boy. I heard it was supposed to be a punk album, since U2 are fans of punk rock, but it’s more of a rock and roll album, with some ballads. This band has no future. I miss the Feedback and Hype days. Bono Vox can’t sing, and they should never have let The Edge’s brother out of the band.I’m disappointed in October. It’s way too religious, and the lyrics suck. Just because Bono “misplaced” his lyrics doesn’t mean he couldn’t think up some new ones, does it? This band has no future. Boy is their best album. They are on their way down. They’ll never top Boy.I’m disappointed in War. It is WAY too political! Who do these “boys” think they are? What the hell do they know about the world? They just haven’t been the same since October. And the production is so muddy! New Year’s Day, my ass. Album Bloody Album. What kind of crap is Red Light? Yeah, boys, put the red light on and get out of the music business. And what — you can’t think of a more original album cover? Is thhis guy going to be on every other album cover?I’m disappointed in The Unforgettable Fire. What are these fluffy landscapes? Do they think they’re Yanni with these atmospheric tunes? Where’s the rocking U2 we loved from War? Yeah, this album is “Bad”. They think they’re as good as Elvis Presley? With that song? That’s a song? They’ve gotten lazy — just slowed down the first song with Bono mumbling over it just to fill out the album. What trash. War is their best album. They’ll never top War.I’m disappointed in The Joshua Tree. This is just the UFF 2! They’ve lost all their originality, which I loved so much when they went from War to UFF. Just more atmospheric soundscapes. It was great the first time around, but they’ve obviously ran out of ideas. It will never sell. UFF is a classic. These are just retreads. And what’s with this first single, With Or Without You? There’s like no chorus, and it’s slow and boring. It’ll never be a hit, and we’ll forget about it in a year. The UFF was their best album. They are on their way down. And they take themselves WAY too seriously. Oh, and anyone who likes this is a jerk, who has no taste in music. Where were these fans in the beginning, when U2 were on their way to superstardom with amazing albums from Boy through UFF?

I’m disappointed in Rattle & Hum. We had to wait two years for this crap? They had to put live stuff on it because they couldn’t write enough new material? And some of this crap isn’t even them! BB King? Other songs that sound like BB King? This is U2, man! Gospel singers? They just ruined I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, one of the greatest songs from the best album ever made, The Joshua Tree. And what the hell is Angel Of Harlem? What territory are they trespassing on now? And who the hell do they think they are? As big is the greatest artists in history? They take themselves WAY too seriously. Big headed jerks. Next thing they’ll say is that they’re bigger than Jesus. They are definitely on their way down. They should break up now. Why isn’t the live version of Streets on here??? And With Or Without You, the best single they ever had!!! This is so much worse than JT. They’ll never reach those heights again.

I’m disappointed with Achtung Baby. We waited like three years of this freaking noise? Where are the beautiful atmospheric soundscapes from JT or the studio stuff from the amazing Rattle & Hum album? No one will ever again make an amazing album seamlessly mixing live and studio material without missing a beat. These songs all sound the same, and half of them are soooo boooring. They are so cruel. I was so looking forward to their first new single, and they come out with this Fly crap? A bleeping bunch of hard rock noise, which sounds like almost every other piece of crap on this mess of an album. And they’re trying to be ironic? Moronic is more like it. This isn’t the U2 I love. The U2 who were concerned with the problems of the world. I want the U2 back who were serious, and they sang about it from the heart. I give up on them. They dreamed it all up again, all right. A freaking nightmare. Baby, baby, baby, my ass. And One? It’s a With Or Without You wanna-be — a shell of the greatest song ever written.

I’m disappointed with Zooropa. They could have at least spent a couple of more years on this, then it wouldn’t be such unrecognizable crap. I figured there would be no way they could top a masterpiece such as AB, and boy was I right! Babyface and Stay? What MOR crap. Noow they’re making soundtrack music. And First Time sounds like a rehashed All I Want Is You, one of the greatest songs ever from the awesome R&H album. They don’t make ’em like they used to. And what is with Wanderer? Just wander right outta here. I hate the experimental crap they have on this album also. This is their swan song. And it’s so sad, since their last album was the GREATEST ALBUM EVER MADE!!!

I’m disappointed with Pop. First of all, where are the dance songs? This was supposed to be a dance album, and all we got is a single that’s named after a place people go to dance! Who are they, The Village People??? And Bono can’t sing anymore. I mean, like, please! I’m down on my knees! I can’t even hear some of these songs without raising the volume to 12. This is NOT U2. What happened to the melodic hits of the past? Gorgeous tunes like Stay and The First Time from the adventurous and exciting Zooropa album? There’s nothing atmospheric like the amazing title track from Zooropa! It’s a muddy, horrible mess. Who are these guys producing this crap? This album was not finished. They are too concerned with going on tour. Nothing will ever top Zoo TV, anyway. At least Zooropa was experimental while still sounding like U2. This is too far gone, and boring. Miami, my mammy? Worst song ever made. I hope they don’t dare play that pile of noise live. They now officially suck. My new favorite band is Radiohead. At least they still make accessible great music. Radiohead is what U2 used to be. An amazing band with amazing melodies, and a great future.

I’m disappointed with All That You Can’t Leave Behind. What happened to the amazing experimentation of Pop??? That is a piece of art! This is MOR, AOR, whatever. Songs for my parents to listen to. This upcoming tour is going to be soooo booooring. U2 is old. Bono can’t sing anymore. They are over 40. Time to call it quits. Just when you thought they were headed in another amazing direction, as they showed in Pop, they wait three years to come out with schmultz. That’s it. They’re through. From Boy to Pop, they were the best band ever. Now only Radiohead has enough guts to experiment. They are the new best band in the world. Goodbye U2.

I’m disappointed with How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. What happened to the rock album we were promised? Bono said so, and he’s always done what he promised. Never mind that it was a year ago. They had a rock album made a year ago, and I want THAT ALBUM!!! It was supposed to be heavy, like Boy and War, which, if I remember, are hard rock albums. They dare put in melodic pop-rock? What’s with these ballads? I never liked atmospheric ballads from U2. Give me heavy, experimental rock. Love And Peace Or Else is the only good thing on it. The rest is filled with jangling guitar from The Edge, who can’t play more than three chords. And Sometimes? It’s a One wanna-be — a shell of the greatest song ever written. They are old and over the hill. Where’s the cutting edge? The experimentation? I loved Pop the day it came out, because it was BOLD! It was NEW! It didn’t play it safe like this crap. Their return to melodic rock was done right on ATYCLB. But this is a rehash of that, done poorly. People think this is a classic? Yeah, a classic mistake! What these guys need is a miracle drug, and fast! Sellouts. U2 sounding like U2. Boy does that suck. Oh, and anyone who likes this is a jerk, who has no taste in music. Where were these fans in the beginning, when U2 were on their way to superstardom with amazing albums from Boy through ATYCLB?


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